July 9th 2008

I arrived a couple of days ago. B met me at the airport with a big hug and kiss, and was so excited to see me again that he drove me half the way to California before he realised where he was going and we had to turn around. On the plane I sat next to an Eastern European woman who told me all the reasons she loves Arizona and hates wherever it is she is from..mostly this involved weather so I spent the majority of the flight watching films. I was excited to come back to the US but also sad to leave the UK behind cause now I spend most of my time here when I would rather be closer to home. The world is getting smaller all the time but my world is not small enough. I feel a bit like Persephone at times like this, spending all this time with my love and only a few months with my mother. I don't know why I'm so attached, althought I suspect it has something to do with the inability to do something. Like, I only want to do something if I'm unable. This has been one of the working principles of my life 'you can't go to america', 'yes I bloody well can! Watch me.' And this state of affairs isn't the case all the time, at least I hope not.